[Rewriting] How Digital communication is better than face to face communicating, English homework help

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Hello, the essay is already written but it was written wrongly, I wanted an advocating essay that talks about how “Digital communication” which is communicating with people using technology which is text messages, phone calls, and other social media is better than communicating face to face.so im advocating for it, however The tutor who wrote my essay talked about it in programmable way which is weird and not correct. you will understand what i mean from the attached files

I will attach the tutors essay which is wrong, and i will attach and outline from me and also the prompt so you can get the idea that i wanna talk about

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