Improve my Argumentative Essay

Improve my essay as required, you are not allowed to cite anything.

The first draft of essay is attached at the end.

You can change any part of the essay to make it fully explained and fulfill requirements.

You need to add about 500 words, I don’t care, just make it significantly longer than before.

MOST IMPORTANT

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TOTAL / 100

Format 5

There is a proper heading 1

There is an interesting title centered 1

The first lines are indented 1

The paper is double spaced 1

The paper uses correct font, size, & margins 1

Punctuation and mechanics 20

There is appropriate punctuation (ie. periods, commas) 5

There is appropriate capitalization (ie. I, proper nouns) 3

There are no spelling mistakes 5

There are no fragments, run-ons, or comma splices 6

There are no contractions (n’t, ‘s) 1

Content 25

The essay stays on topic 4

The essay contains 3 body paragraphs which discuss a different aspect of the topic 5

The essay follows the rules of the essay type (ie. counterargument/rebuttal for Argument) 6

The essay contains a strong argument/clear explanation 10

Organization 20

The essay has a strong thesis statement (included topic, controlling idea, and 3 subtopics) 4

Each body paragraph has a topic sentence 4

There are 6-8 good supporting sentences per paragraph 4

There is a solid introduction (including hook and connecting information) and conclusion (including restatement/summary and final thoughts) 4

The student uses transitions and signal words appropriately 4

Grammar and sentence structure 30

Subject-verb agreement /tenses used correctly 6

Articles, plurals, and prepositions used correctly 7

Uses a variety of coherent and formal sentences, including compound/complex sentences 10

Academic language used appropriately 7

Universities
should only use standardized testing for admissions

According to BBC News,
it is the first time that Oxford University and some universities in U.K agree
to accept Chinese College Entrance Exam as a kind of standardized testing for
admissions. Standardized testing is a kind of test that can test different
students by the same questions at different place and time. Many universities
accept standardized testing for admission. Using standardized testing can help
universities to rate students’ academic levels for better admission, help
student to know how their academic levels and find their disadvantages, and
make admissions of universities more standard, although some people think
standardized testing may have negative effect on students, it can be solved.

Only using
standardized testing can help universities rate students’ academic levels for
better admission. There are many students apply for the same university, making
the admission work very busy. If a university can rate students according to
their academic levels. The university can give offers to excellent students
based on the rating, compared with unstandardized testing, standardized testing
make admission easier and clearer.

Only using
standardized testing can not only improve admission, but also help students to know
how their academic levels and find their disadvantages, for example, a student
can go to attend a standardized testing hosted by a university, then he will
also aware his disadvantages such as math or writing.

Except help
students know their academic levels and find their disadvantages, only using
standardized testing also help admissions of universities more standard. Compared
with other kind of testing can avoid subjective grading. Students will not have
low grades due to their bad handwriting or opinions that are not liked by the
teacher, because the standardized testing has a standard grading rule, and
students have chances to apply for regrading to make sure grading is fair.
Standardized testing makes classroom material consistent, and teachers have a
structure to know what should be taught, making students from different regions
have a fair education and testing environment.

Although only using standardized testing in
universities admissions has many advantages, some people think it will create major
stress on students, they will feel pressure when it comes to doing well in the
exam. The score of the tests will affect students, making them have negative
attitude on study. While it is true, but it is not important, it can be solved
by hiring a tutor. Parents can hire a tutor for their kid to help finding disadvantages
and manage the student’s study and provide a guide to overcome the problem.

Universities
should only use standardized testing for admissions, because it can improve
admissions of universities, help students know their position in the study and
find areas that they are not good at, and make the admissions of universities
more standard. Although standardized testing may have negative effect on
students, it can be avoided by hiring a tutor.