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Main things for revision, as you’ll see from my comments: First, along with
Pinocchio, you must include reference to the Billman article. That’s a requirement for the paper. You may not use any other sources by critics or from the internet.
Second, you need to keep the focus on landscape—the geography and physical features of the country Pinocchio inhabits. Right now, there are several paragraphs where you re-tell
the story of Pinocchio’s creation or other plot points. While these are often important moments in Pinocchio’s development, they’re not an analysis of landscape, and so aren’t pertinent to the subject of this paper. Finally, make sure you format and cite appropriately.
You’ll see on the last page that I’ve corrected your citation of Pinocchio. You’ll need to add an entry for Billman, and to cite the article properly in the paper as well. Use MLA format for in-text citations and for the article and book citations at the end
of the essay. Purdue’s OWL site (which is one of the resources on our Blackboard page) gives specific examples.